It can be tough to hear not-so-positive feedback sometimes, but I’ve tried to look at it objectively, rather than reacting emotionally, to figure out whether the feedback has validity and how I can learn. It’s a process, but ‘thank you for your thoughts’ or ‘I really appreciate you telling me this’ are truly magic words. Most people would’ve probably gone with option number one. My instinct when receiving criticism, however helpful, was to get defensive. Often in the face of critical feedback, it’s easy to defend yourself by clarifying what your intentions were. Feedback that takes you out of your own idea about what you’re “good” and “bad” at is the type of feedback that leads to real growth. Don't respond immediately. And the threat may seem greater if the feedback is in writing. In her role, she helps people tell their personal stories of going from surviving to thriving, brings Thrive's audience actionable, science-backed tips for reducing stress and improving their physical and mental well-being, and shares those insights on panels, at conferences, and in national outlets like NBC's TODAY. Receiving and responding to feedback are essential components of our daily lives. Feedback is, after all, just a collection of opinions, so the best way to get an accurate picture is to ask more people. Then ask for their opinions, and keep an open mind for what you might hear. Whether the person is well-meaning or just being mean-spirited doesn’t really matter. Check out these ways to graciously accept it: If You Made a Mistake. Hopefully, by this point in the conversation, you can agree on the issues that were raised. Great post. Evaluate it, slowly. Three years ago, I joined a CEO peer-to-peer mentoring group and one of the things we learned very early on was how to give feedback in a way that inspired progress, how to use it as a trigger for change, and how to create a plan to make that happen. Please read our, Why Listening to Constructive Criticism is Essential For Being Successful, Learning and Growing from Constructive Criticism from an Employee, We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. Before you write that response, take a minute. Because we meet monthly, we report on its impact at the next meeting, and over time, it’s become clear that the attitude of acting on it, rather than brushing it away, causes phenomenal improvements in our companies, careers and family lives.”, “Constructive criticism has been key to my success in becoming a physician and has helped me continue become the best doctor for my patients. Responding to feedback can be tricky. So, do not take it personally; instead, look at the points they are making. Usually, there is. 3) Respond with a calm, patient, even kind message. Let yourself think about it and really reflect on it without judgment or anger. Stay up to date or catch-up on all our podcasts with Arianna Huffington here. If I’m speaking or writing, I always go to them for honest feedback because their opinion matters. This has given me some amazing ideas that I never would have thought of own my own. Then, I realized that he was right: swooping in to save the day prevented people from learning how to advocate for themselves. Responding to a Critical Colleague. Second, I consider whether I want to be or stay offended. You might event want to point out every part of a review that is wrong, false, inaccurate, or misrepresents your business. This last step is the most important one because it helps me appreciate that the other person is coming from a good place. If you receive a neutral review with negative feedback, acknowledge the specific issues the customer had with their experience. The thinking is that when we share feedback and new ideas as well as tension points with compassion, empathy and understanding, the whole company benefits and we can course-correct and grow as individuals. New graduates in particular not only need constructive feedback; they also need positive feedback to know when and what they are doing well. In the beginning, I felt like I was the worst coach ever. While it’s unlikely you’ll ever get away from criticism (constructive or otherwise), you can change the way to respond to it. Responding to Critical Supervisory Feedback by Tom Sebok Receiving “corrective feedback” from your supervisor about your work performance can be very difficult. "I don't come in to work late! They'll either try to smash down the feedback. Receive, Reflect, Respond – the individual takes the time they need to reflect on what they heard and respond accordingly. Being senior and more experienced, your supervisor means the best for your research and your career, although their tone and behaviour might seem harsh at times. Michael Wilson commented on January 26th, 2009 at 8:41 pm. 2) Respond with an angry message of my own. I wasted time thinking about what I had said until I realized that this wouldn’t actually do anything. Even if you don’t solicit it, others share their impressions of how you perform, act, look and carry yourself– and you react internally and externally. When I find myself reacting strongly to criticism, I step back and get really curious about the ideas and intentions behind the comments — even my own knee-jerk reaction. Then stop. The other part of the equation is what to do once you receive critical feedback. Assess the value of the feedback, the consequences of using it or ignoring it, and then decide what to do because of it. Whether it is negative or positive, you should take it in an optimistic way and use it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and improve your business. You risk damaging your reputation if you respond negatively. Take It Offline for More Details. This impulse is totally natural, and it comes from a good place — having a strong identity. So I took action and was more careful when choosing my words. Critical feedback would be either positive or negative. On the other hand, when I need to deliver criticism, I’ve learned to take all emotional judgment out of it.”, —Kathy K. Johnson, executive director, Cheboygan, MI, “When I was told that I needed to be more sensitive about what I say at work, it was hard to swallow. Even if the review includes a critical comment, start your response with an affirmation of the review’s positive aspects. “I’ve always found criticism hard to give and hard to take, which was probably holding me back. Even the best managers struggle to deliver feedback effectively — so we’ve developed these 20 employee feedback examples to help. Do not react, but respond. It's how we deal with that feedback that sets the stage for success versus failure. Point of View: Don’t see constructive criticism as a reason to be upset. While you might not have control over the feedback you hear, you do have control over how you react. Understand that the feedback is directed at your work, not at you. Patrick commented on January 24th, 2009 at 9:41 pm. You may feel angry, sad, or threatened - especially if the feedback is in writing. Only by understanding the principle will you truly be able to carry the lesson forward into your future work. Then, I take a few moments to process. Even in the most inarticulate deliveries or messengers, there may be a nugget of truth I can learn from.”, “Even though I’m a business owner, I dedicate myself to continuing my education — this involves fitness workshops and seminars. Commit to responding to the feedback with openness and willingness. By understanding how well they are progressing, new staff can determine what … The right way to respond to constructive criticism Negative feedback can be a good thing. You want to be sure you are conveying your message while maintaining that you hear what they are saying. Third, I ask if there’s anything to genuinely learn from the feedback. Make your changes now so that your change take you forward.”, —Christian J. Farber, writer and marketer, NJ, “As an entrepreneur, speaker, and writer, the online comments and feedback flood in almost daily. I just had to keep telling myself, ‘this will only make you better.’, —Jessica Murden, business owner, Lodi, NJ, Have an open discussion if you’re not on the same page, “Staying objective, grounded, and acknowledging my own emotions are the key factors I rely on when receiving any feedback. I’m going to [fix that error immediately/do things differently going … For example, my CEO noted several years ago that I was assuming the burdens of others at the detriment of myself. My instinct when receiving criticism, however helpful, was to get defensive. "I'd love to respond to this, but to do it justice, "I want to think about it for a while." Previously, Marina held senior editorial roles at Women's Health, Cosmopolitan, and Glamour, where she edited award-winning health and mental health features and spearheaded the campaigns and partnerships around them. And, yet, in order for this critical feedback … Resist, React, Reject – this response has the ability to erode trust and devalue feedback and, in turn, sets the expectations around what the team can and can’t discuss. Here at Thrive, one of our core cultural values is compassionate directness: We’re empowered to speak up, give feedback, and surface problems and constructive criticism immediately. I have written previously about how to give critical feedback effectively, and how to ask for it. Receiving feedback without becoming defensive is a skill that can help you win in work and in life. Responding to Critical Feedback by Challenging Pessimistic Attributions: A Cognitive Tool for the Dissertation Journey: 10.4018/978-1-5225-9707-0.ch002: During the dissertation journey, graduate students must expect to receive critical feedback. Instead, think about who you trust, who knows you well, and who is skilled or experienced in the attribute in question. "99% of the time, I'm there early!" I take a long breath in, then a long breath out. It’s not coming from someone, as Brené Brown says, ‘in the cheap seats,’ but someone who is on the same path as me and will provide constructive, growth-oriented feedback. While this can be uncomfortable, it is a very powerful thing, because it will allow you to make changes to your behavior that you wouldn’t have made otherwise. When should I have done something that I didn’t do? We can all remember a time when we have given or received some poorly delivered feedback. Momentarily relieved that you are not responding in the way that they were afraid you would, the person is likely to relax a little and be more open to your feedback. I believe I have responded to this well by securing the role of Lighting Tech. What was my approach missing?” You want to ask whatever you need to in order to understand the feedback around not just this situation, but whatever the underlying principle is. However, sometimes the feedback that can have the most impact is feedback that doesn’t fit with our view of ourselves. In a group environment, ask for others’ feedback before responding. However, answering bad reviews builds consumer confidence in your business and brand. And rather than fight that battle, I choose to embrace this new paradigm: that I’ll be knocked down and must build myself up, over and over again. Well, you certainly have been given something to think about, and now you've bought some time. Sometimes, the coaching critique is very harsh. Asking for specifics can sound awfully similar to asking for proof, and you don’t want these questions to come across as defensive (another example of the importance between intent and impact). So they get defensive, and want to go on the attack. At first, this seemed a little inauthentic, but over time, it’s changed the way I feel about criticism. I like the approach. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and not everyone will like your work (and that’s ok), but this can’t stop you from continuing to do what you do!”, —Lisa Pezik, business strategist and content expert, Ontario, Canada, “Realizing that constructive criticism is a gift helped me learn to receive it better. Time for some long overdue uplifting, and constructively critical commentary from you. Remember to take the high road. Interviewers ask this question to determine how well you respond to critical feedback, and if you can adopt suggestions to improve your performance and grow from your supervisor’s constructive feedback. The positive kind is easy to accept, but the negative or constructive kinds take a lot more effort to process. As well, when possible, be explicit as to what kind of feedback you are seeking beforehand so you are not taken by surprise. Ready to drive engagement during your next 1-on-1 or formal performance review? However, it’s important to separate intentions from impact. Marina leads strategy, ideation and execution of Thrive Global content company-wide, including cross-platform brand partnership campaigns, editorial tentpoles and partnerships, and the voice of the Thrive app. Therefore, the greatest value in the feedback is that it will help you understand how others perceive you. This has taken practice, but the bonus skills that come with a fully-present mind are acceptance of what is without being triggered, and increased curiosity, wonder, and inquiry. If I don’t quite agree with it, I’ll try to have an open discussion. When you give feedback … And it’s also how many of our best ideas come to light. Managing Positive Feedback. Critical feedback from others is important because it’s more objective than what you’re going to give yourself. I covered this in my post about how to give critical feedback effectively, but in case the person you are working with doesn’t follow that guidance, the burden shifts to you to get the specifics you need. I had the responsibility of adjusting lighting mid-filming and carried out all instructions from the Director. But then I realized that the more criticism I received, the better I would become, and the more successful my business would be. Follow us here and subscribe here for all the latest news on how you can keep Thriving. It can be emotionally difficult, even if you asked for it, so it’s worth it to take some time to figure out how to process feedback thoroughly and make the most use of it. They, in turn, feel good about offering useful feedback. Ask questions like, “What could I have done differently? Everyone wants to be acknowledged for a job well done, but few want the same treatment for a job that's not so well done. It … By doing this and asking for their honest views, you will get a much more accurate picture of yourself. 2. Just say, "Thank you for the feedback. Often in the face of critical feedback, it’s easy to defend yourself by clarifying what your intentions were. Getting bad review of my book, hearing a hurtful comment, or getting honest feedback that I wasn’t their cup of tea are things that used to ruin me. Feedback examples for speaking over others. Coping with critical feedback. So we asked members of the Thrive Global community how they’ve learned to receive constructive criticism gracefully — and use it to boost their success. Reflect and decide what to do. Written by n0503195. It always makes me think about about what people are saying, rather than how I feel about it. You may also issue a short apology and provide a brief explanation on what happened. How to Respond to this Interview Question. 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